Getting kids to help around the house can be a real challenge. We seem to be living in the “age of entitlement,” where kids no longer ask “how can I help?” but rather “what’s in it for me?” Motivating our busy, self-absorbed kids to help around the house may seem like a lost cause.
Indeed, many parents give up. They find that just doing the chores themselves us quicker and easier than endlessly nagging their kids. While this may work as a short-term solution, it is certainly not a good idea if you want to raise your kids to be responsible members of your household, and – eventually – of society.
While some experts argue that an allowance should not be linked to chores, it has been my experience that a system of rewards and consequences, which includes allowance and chores, works beautifully to motivate kids and to teach them values such as participating in the household tasks, being responsible, and saving.
My view is that an allowance is a privilege, just like TV or sleepovers with friends. As such, my children need to EARN the right to receive this privilege by making good choices. Poor decisions mean they lose privileges, including their allowance or part of their allowance. Our Family Constitution [link] specifies that Jack and Max receive a full allowance on each week they complete their chores on time. When they don’t complete their chores on time, they lose part or all of their allowance.
After our Family Constitution became official, we stopped buying the kids “extras” such as toys and video games. The kids are now expected to purchase these items using their own money. As a result, the boys now distinguish between our money and their own. They discern value and spend accordingly, acquiring important life skills of money management and saving towards a purchase.
Tying allowance with chores is working for my family. Please visit my website, Your Family Constitution, to receive additional, useful parenting tips.
Photo by Three if by Bike
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