There sure are many screen temptations these days for kids. It’s not just television and the Internet. There are computer games, console games, and Wii, not to mention iPod Nano, which enables them to watch movies anywhere, even on the go. Screen time is not even limited to the home anymore – kids can do it anywhere.

This may be very good for entertainment companies, but it’s very bad for kids. Our children need to play outside, interact with their friends and be physically active. Spending too many hours each day sitting around and playing on the computer contributes, according to many experts, to the obesity epidemic.

As parents, our job is to encourage our children to be more active, but since we are so busy and overwhelmed, it’s very tempting to just allow them to watch one more show or to play one more game.

Parenting the easy way would mean asking the kids to turn off the TV, but then – as soon as they start protesting – giving up and allowing them to watch more. In the short term, this certainly achieves peace and quiet, but in the long term, we are not doing our kids any favors by allowing them to watch too much TV.

Parenting the hard way would mean barking at them to turn off the television without providing any explanations. This would create unnecessary conflict and friction, and there’s also the risk of being inconsistent – sometimes letting them watch more TV (when you need to get some work done), and sometimes allowing them less screen time.

Limiting screen time the constitutional way means establishing a clear set of rules when it comes to how much time the kids are allowed to spend in front of a screen each day. Involve the kids in deciding how much daily screen time is reasonable, then establish clear rules to achieve this, which include appropriate rewards for following the rules and appropriate consequences for not following them.

A detailed example of “screen time rules” can be found on page 61 of my family guide, Your Family Constitution.

Photo by roxeteer

As a parent, I live this conflict with my eleven year-old. I want him to be internet savy for the purposes of education and self-reliance, but I fear the day when hormones kick in and the internet vultures decend on him. If I remember correctly what it is like to be an adolescent boy, I don’t think he’ll be thinking through the social, developmental and financial repercussions of clicking over to view inappropriate material with his friends. Although I hope I am grossly incorrect, the lure of indecency to teenage boys has been a long-standing constant through the generations.

So, what can we do? The first thing is to identify what aspects of internet “opportunity” concern you the most. Is it the endless hours of violent video games that can isolate a child and impair the active lifestyle you envisioned?…the exposure to internet predators?… or the broad availability to satisfy every vice you can think of? Once you’ve crystallized your concerns, think about the various approaches to minimizing them in your household (see Common Sense Tips). Make a list of the rules and tools you would consider implementing, then weigh the potential effectiveness of each against the effort and/or impairments to ”good stuff” the internet offers.

Parenting is not easy. For all the convenience it creates, the connondrum it creates for parents is nothing short of staggering. In the end, all we parents can do is trust our gut, try different techniques, use available resources and hope for the best.

If you would like to know how the quantity of Screen Time (TV, video games and non-academic internet usage) that you allow stacks up against other households, take the online Parent’s Poll.

The world is changing, we all know that. It is evermore difficult to parent when so many distractions surround us and our kids. There was a recent study by USC’s Annenberg School that describes how these changes are impacting family interaction. If nothing else, it is enlightening; but for me, it is awfully scary. Kids need us to help them learn good habits that will enable them for the future. It’s very hard to overcome the power that digital media holds on this next generation, but I for one will try.

We’ve committed to limit video game and television usage in our home and our Family Constitution helps us do it. Our kids understand our expectations and the reasons for our concern (even though they don’t agree). The best way to earn time in front of the television is to go outside and work up a sweat, participate in sports, and make good use of the SoCal weather that they are so lucky to have.

If you have any other ways to combat Screen Time laziness…please let me know.