• Competition for grades and college;
• Inconvenience of shuttling kids to and from practices;
• Expense of league dues and equipment.

• I understand the stress and effort that it takes to keep kids active and engaged in sports. My family will continue to be unbelievably busy as long as I have to spend three or four days a week at the fields, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I even acknowledge that it may make it more challenging for my kids to excel in school against stiff competition…but doesn’t that lead to self-discipline and efficiency

So why work so hard to keep your kids occupied in sports? Why go the extra proverbial “extra mile” to make sure your kids compete on the field as hard as they do in the classroom?

1. First, sports is a microcosm of life. It contains all the elements that people encounter throughout life, love and business: teamwork, competition, motivation, commitment, communication, adversity, victory and defeat.

Next, sports are also one of the best ways to keep your kids from picking up all the bad habits that older children and adolescents do when they have too much idle time. Body and mind stay in shape while occupied on the things that will help them grow and develop, as opposed to those habits that lead to atrophy and brain rot. Even when their not practicing and playing, their circle of friends will likely be concentrated around other likeminded kids and families who subscribe to the same activities.

Parents, engage your kids now and introduce them to the great experiences and passion that can last an entire lifetime. If you think you don’t have time or you kids can’t juggle school and sports, talk to some families who make it work, then make the adjustments to make it work for you. In the end, kids will only spend a finite amount of time on school work, so it is up to you to make sure that the rest of the time is filled with positive activities.

Every family is going to fit the description of “out of control” at certain moments, but there are definite signs of more chronic challenges with control. The first is that there is no identified plan or vision. Once parents hit the point where they are simply reacting and trying to keep up without clear direction, it is very difficult to regain control without focused effort. The reason is that life inevitably speeds up, instead of slows down like we all think will happen. If we don’t take the time to think through our approach, the tendency to simply react to external forces takes over.

The second sign is that negative emotion begins to interfere with everyday interactions with kids and/or spouse. If people continually argue, they fall into a defensive stance, paving the way for further argument. My son and I argued all the time because I was frustrated that he wouldn’t take responsibility, while he was frustrated because he felt like I was picking on him. The wild card was that I had never communicated my expectations clearly, so we went round and round in circles until our mutual desire to have a good relationship became hidden behind emotional barriers.

The third sign is that a family repeatedly has communication failures. Once again, all families will have some communication challenges, but it is a continual pattern that is most concerning. When people struggle to communicate, the natural reaction is to stop sharing feelings and ideas. This leads to poor coordination and lack of expectations. Perhaps the single most important change we made was incorporating a regular family meeting into our lives. This gives us a forum to talk about issues, coordinate our efforts, lay down expectations and monitor our success.

The final sign is a little bit more difficult to judge, as it requires true introspection. This sign is a significant gap between our actions and our priorities. I worked very long hours to try to provide for my family, but my emotional availability to my family was suffering. Until I spent the time to examine myself, I never realized there was such contradiction. Introspection is hard, but if a parent follows the path that I lay out in my book, Your Family Constitution, they should be able to assess how well-aligned they are with their priorities.

So, in short, all families are all crazy and out-of-control at certain points. Don’t be embarrassed…shout it out…then fix it. Steady improvement is a much more satisfying goal than perfection. If you keep that in mind and can make a truly objective assessment of your family, the road from out-of-control starts today.

In the end, the experience taught us both a couple of lessons. He learned the true cost of pay-per-view and I am sure he won’t be ordering any more WWE specials again anytime soon. His WWE marathon had cost him five months worth of allowance. He also realized that it doesn’t pay to be deceitful. Dad knows more than he thought.

As for me, I was reminded that i have to be diligent in my efforts to keep up with my kids’ viewing contnent. But, most importantly, I realized that Max will tell the truth when confronted, which for now gives me a great opportunity to teach lessons.