The habits we have make a difference in the people that we are and will become. This is especially true for kids. Unfortunately, good habits take a long time to develop and bad habits take a long time to break. So, what is a busy parent to do to help their kids develop solid working habits while managing their own adult habits.

I’ll answer with three words…CLARITY, CONSISTENCY AND COMMITMENT. It takes a lot more of your time to manage your kids work and productivity on a day-to-day basis. Although each kids is different, setting standard times to do homework and establishing clear performance expectations will take some of the pressure to stand over their shoulder.

Once the schedule and expectations are understood, nurture the habit by having goals with both rewards and consequences based on performance. Kids identify with “what’s in it for me”, so be creative and think of a couple of “carrots” to reward them with, as well as some negative consequences that will steer them in the right direction.

Setting good fundamental habits does not excuse you as a parent from lending help and being part of the teaching process. Make sure they understand that you are there to answer questions, but not to micro manage their efforts or to do their work for them. Teach them good study habits, memorization tricks, and time management techniques. Work with them until they embrace the tools to be successful (or create their own), then manage academic results and give yourself a break from arguing with a child each day about homework because he or she lacks a set schedule or understanding of what you want and expect.

If you want some ideas on different rewards and consequences you can use or want to find out more about a parenting tool to help you infuse clarity, consistency and commitment into all aspects of your home life, please visit www.yourfamilyconstitution.com.

Our kids are busy too: their schedules are often packed with after school activities and with scheduled play dates. For many reasons, including modern safety concerns, our kids rarely get to just go outside and play, unscheduled and unsupervised.

I’m not judging anyone here, by the way. My family is a dual-income family, and my kids are busy. These are the realities of our modern life, and while I believe that modern life creates difficulties when it comes to family relationships, I do believe that the conveniences of modern life are amazing and wouldn’t trade any of them!

However, there are tried and true ways to strengthen one’s family relationships. Here are three of them:

1. Spend more time together. Easier said than done? Not necessarily. You do need to truly commit to spending more time together as a family, and this can be achieved by scheduling family meetings and family outings in your calendar and keeping those appointments, just like you would keep a business meeting.

2. Create a Family Constitution. A family constitution will help you stabilize and improve family relationships by adding clarity and consistency to your family.

3. Listen. Many of us are so tired and stressed, we hardly ever listen anymore – to our kids and to our spouse. But these are the people we love. Their ideas and thoughts are important. Taking the time to truly listen to our loved one is a great way to improve family relationships.   

Photo by rekkid