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Archive for 2010
Tuesday, September 14th, 2010
A prevelant myth among today’s parents is that families must choose between academic success and afterschool sports. There are a lot of arguments to justify focusing on academics:
- Competition for grades and college;
- Inconvenience of shuttling kids to and from practices;
- Expense of league dues and equipment.
- I understand the stress and effort that it takes to keep kids active and engaged in sports. My family will continue to be unbelievably busy as long as I have to spend three or four days a week at the fields, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I even acknowledge that it may make it more challenging for my kids to excel in school against stiff competition…but doesn’t that lead to self-discipline and efficiency
So why work so hard to keep your kids occupied in sports? Why go the extra proverbial “extra mile” to make sure your kids compete on the field as hard as they do in the classroom?
- First, sports is a microcosm of life. It contains all the elements that people encounter throughout life, love and business: teamwork, competition, motivation, commitment, communication, adversity, victory and defeat.
Next, sports are also one of the best ways to keep your kids from picking up all the bad habits that older children and adolescents do when they have too much idle time. Body and mind stay in shape while occupied on the things that will help them grow and develop, as opposed to those habits that lead to atrophy and brain rot. Even when their not practicing and playing, their circle of friends will likely be concentrated around other likeminded kids and families who subscribe to the same activities.
Parents, engage your kids now and introduce them to the great experiences and passion that can last an entire lifetime. If you think you don’t have time or you kids can’t juggle school and sports, talk to some families who make it work, then make the adjustments to make it work for you. In the end, kids will only spend a finite amount of time on school work, so it is up to you to make sure that the rest of the time is filled with positive activities.
Posted in Communication, Discipline, Family Relationships, homework, Modern Family, study habits, Truth and Lies | No Comments »
Tuesday, September 7th, 2010
The habits we have make a difference in the people that we are and will become. This is especially true for kids. Unfortunately, good habits take a long time to develop and bad habits take a long time to break. So, what is a busy parent to do to help their kids develop solid working habits while managing their own adult habits.
I’ll answer with three words…CLARITY, CONSISTENCY AND COMMITMENT. It takes a lot more of your time to manage your kids work and productivity on a day-to-day basis. Although each kids is different, setting standard times to do homework and establishing clear performance expectations will take some of the pressure to stand over their shoulder.
Once the schedule and expectations are understood, nurture the habit by having goals with both rewards and consequences based on performance. Kids identify with “what’s in it for me”, so be creative and think of a couple of “carrots” to reward them with, as well as some negative consequences that will steer them in the right direction.
Setting good fundamental habits does not excuse you as a parent from lending help and being part of the teaching process. Make sure they understand that you are there to answer questions, but not to micro manage their efforts or to do their work for them. Teach them good study habits, memorization tricks, and time management techniques. Work with them until they embrace the tools to be successful (or create their own), then manage academic results and give yourself a break from arguing with a child each day about homework because he or she lacks a set schedule or understanding of what you want and expect.
If you want some ideas on different rewards and consequences you can use or want to find out more about a parenting tool to help you infuse clarity, consistency and commitment into all aspects of your home life, please visit www.yourfamilyconstitution.com.
Tags: child work habits, Discipline, effective discipline, homework, study habits
Posted in Communication, Discipline, Family Constitution, Family Relationships, homework, study habits, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Wednesday, September 1st, 2010
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. But, I’m back. Thanks to those who’ve been patient while I took an emotional break from my blog and book.
 - Is summer really over already?
My kids go back to school tomorrow and I can’t even think of where the summer has gone. As they prepare for another year, I keep thinking “Am I preparing them to enter our crazy world. They generally behave…they get get good grades…they are active in sports…what more can I expect? Well, the short answer is I expect them to develop good habits and self-discipline to guide them through life’s challenges, tough decisions and opportunities when I’m not standing next to them.
It all starts tomorrow. We’ve set the boundaries, loaded them p with tools they’ll need to stay organized (oldest is going into Jr. High School); so now what. I’ll keep you posted as the year progresses.
Posted in Chores, Discipline, Family Constitution, Family Relationships, Internet | No Comments »
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
 Sometimes I think parents in past generations had it much easier. It’s not that I’m naïve: I realize how lucky our generation is, especially in the Western world, to be surrounded by technology and conveniences which were unimaginable just a couple of generations ago.
But in other ways, I think our lives are much harder – certainly more complicated. Modern life is extremely fast paced, and technology makes the pace increasingly faster. It seems as though we forgot what leisure was all about.
Technology was supposed to create more leisure time, but instead, many people are using it to accomplish more work. In addition, economic turbulence in recent years and the steady rise in standard of living – and the need to maintain it – means that more and more families, including my own, are dual income families. This obviously creates even more pressure.
My own family has reached an extremely low point just a couple of years ago. Our family relationships were incredibly stressed. Our communication was almost non-existent. I am proud to say that I refused to let it go on. I forced myself to slow down and really examine my family relationships. I didn’t like what I saw, and I vowed to make a change.
Creating a Family Constitution enabled me to make that change, and to keep it. I have learned to slow down, to spend time with my family, and to create a structure of rules, rewards and consequences that erases the need for constant negotiating, arguing and whining.
Yes, modern parents are overworked and overtired, but we can still slow down a bit, take some of the pressure off ourselves and our kids, simplify our lives, and – above all – add some much needed clarity and structure through a Family Constitution.
Photo by rankun76
Posted in Modern Family | No Comments »
Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
I believe in a Family Constitution because it has worked wonders for my own family.
I believe in a Family Constitution because it was the tool that made me truly take the time and reflect on my family relationships and on what was wrong with them.
I believe in a Family Constitution because it enabled me to stop the chaos, the whining, the lack of consistency and clarity in my family. Instead, the structure that the Family Constitution added to our family enabled us to feel much closer to each other and to truly connect, for the first time in years.
I believe in a Family Constitution because it made me listen – truly listen – to my wife and kids and it also helped me to start spending more time with thwm, and enjoying every minute of it.
I believe in a Family Constitution because chores, allowance and kids’ responsibility are now effortless. There are no more arguments, whining or nagging. The kids know exactly what is expected from them, and they know exactly what are the rewards for being responsible and what are the consequences of being irresponsible. There’s no need for constant bargaining and arguing, because the rules are well established and are fair and clear.
I believe in a Family Constitution because it has transformed my family relationships from chaotic and stressful to blissful. I’m confident it can do the same for your family. Start creating your own Family Constitution today! Click here for more details.
Posted in Family Constitution | No Comments »
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
 Modern parents are always in a hurry. We are busy, stressed and are trying hard to provide for our families and to build our careers. The current financial climate dictates that both parents work in many families, and in fact, having a parent stay home is risky, because if the breadwinner loses their income, the family could quickly become destitute.
Our kids are busy too: their schedules are often packed with after school activities and with scheduled play dates. For many reasons, including modern safety concerns, our kids rarely get to just go outside and play, unscheduled and unsupervised.
I’m not judging anyone here, by the way. My family is a dual-income family, and my kids are busy. These are the realities of our modern life, and while I believe that modern life creates difficulties when it comes to family relationships, I do believe that the conveniences of modern life are amazing and wouldn’t trade any of them!
However, there are tried and true ways to strengthen one’s family relationships. Here are three of them:
1. Spend more time together. Easier said than done? Not necessarily. You do need to truly commit to spending more time together as a family, and this can be achieved by scheduling family meetings and family outings in your calendar and keeping those appointments, just like you would keep a business meeting.
2. Create a Family Constitution. A family constitution will help you stabilize and improve family relationships by adding clarity and consistency to your family.
3. Listen. Many of us are so tired and stressed, we hardly ever listen anymore – to our kids and to our spouse. But these are the people we love. Their ideas and thoughts are important. Taking the time to truly listen to our loved one is a great way to improve family relationships.
Photo by rekkid
Posted in Family Relationships | 1 Comment »
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