When family members don’t talk with each other anymore, family is in trouble.
It may seem like it’s impossible for family members not to talk with each other. After all, we all live in the same house and see each other every single day. But one of the modern family’s big problems is that although people live in the same house, they are so busy doing their own thing, and their life becomes so chaotic, that they never find the time to just talk.
My family used to be like that. My wife and I are working professionals. Our kids are involved in many extra-curricular activities. The busier we all got, the less time we had to effectively communicate with each other or to set a clear system of rules and expectations, and effective tools for enforcing them. We were constantly in survival mode, never taking the time to look at the big picture and add some much-needed structure to the family chaos.
Effective communication enabled my family to function again. My family now thrives under our Family Constitution. But the first step to establishing that Constitution was communicating with my children and with my wife. I started by having the conversation with my wife that we should have made time for years ago. We shared our fundamental parenting objectives. We talked about our views on role modeling, encouragement and discipline. We put together a clear vision for our family that we could both support.
Next, I talked with my children. We talked, and I listened, like I have never listened before. We talked about family issues; about things they would like to change. We discussed issues such as chores, rewards and consequences. Our Family Constitution works, because my children’s input was an integral part of its content.
We now maintain our open communication by having a weekly family meeting. The weekly family meeting is our way to make sure we make time to discuss issues, recognize problems, acknowledge achievements, and in general stay connected.
Click here to learn more about my approach to relieving family tension and solving common family problems.
Photo by meemal
